Monday and a Tuesday Just me

Well this is probably the only week day I will be left alone before next September. I mean life’s great at uni J I love every minute of it and I love having my own place, because life becomes stressful when you begin to be an adult and you live at home with your parents. Or in my case my mum and my grandma. People never think about this, but my Grandma as lovely as she is can be very opinionated and with her living under the same roof, instead of a mum and dad that balance out. It’s more like having two mum’s with two completely different morals. You see Grandma still lives in the days of courting and hates it when I go out or drink. Even though I am 19. I think she’s just scared that after all I have been through I have had to grow up too soon, too fast and that me not going out drinking means that I get the childhood I never had.

So I thought about lounging about all day Monday, the lovely long lie in that I was going to have. Well truth is it didn’t happen. I realised before I went to bed that the next day I had an appointment with Davey at 11am. I like getting up on such days because I know whatever worries I have had this week will soon disappear. My motivation will come back, and all my problems will be sorted. Plus I enjoy learning new techniques to help me cope with my dyslexia. Instead of getting myself down about my learning difficulty, I am taught new ways in which to use it as my secret weapon : )

Monday I was very motivated after the session and have to learn around 70 new words (course relevant) over the summer and be able to spell them and tell you exactly what they mean. This may seem easy to a normal person. But I find it very hard to speak anything but simple language and often find my self daily either looking up words people have said to me or asking them what it means. This makes me feel stupid, especially around my flatmates. Two of them in particular, as if I ask they make a joke of how simple or dumb I am. Which don’t get me wrong was ok to begin with but it does get me down a lot now and when they joke about me being a spaz. Hmmm :S

On Monday I was also trying to sort out my course for next year but my course administer has still not emailed me back. Which at this stage having it been 2 nearly 3 days is very annoying. Anyway, I stayed in Uni a while and then I came back and watched more one tree hill and saw the most emotional episode ever! I thought I was watching Grey’s Anatomy, but nope reality check it was one tree hill and it did make me cry all the way through. This also meant I couldn’t sleep for a while so I had to watch a few more.

Tuesday – That’s today.

Well today kept waking up because of the heat. But to tell you the truth was a little tired to get up just yet. So instead I watched more one tree hill. Grabbed a shower, then went into Uni again yet to have another meeting. This time with a lovely women who is there for me to send an email about what books I want and then she collects them and ensures I get a longer loan period. This even includes 24 hour short loan... I can have until 48hours etc...

She was really nice and kind and showed me what other services are on offer for me. Which should make my life easier in the 2^nd year and most definitely with me now receiving the necessary help, that should have been in place this year, they are hoping as am I that my grades go through the roof, as this year they have been somewhat poor, due to the mess in diagnosing me correctly and my marks being penalised and me not getting sufficient support.

I am feeling very positive now. And have even come back and made butterfly cakes J yum yum J

Better go, have to start my mum’s present.

X

“ Never let the fear of striking out, Keep you from playing the game” – A Cinderella’s Story

Fight through the pain...and the feeling will become so great

After waking up at 6am after having less than 2 hours sleep, trying to remember why you are dragging your body out of bed. Preparing to walk to the bus station at 7am to get there for a bus that leaves at 7.50am is tough. So why bother? That was the thought that ran through my mind this Sunday. However, glancing at the desk once more to understand what today meant to thousands of people was ultimately the reason that I got out of bed.

The bus journey to Preston made me feel sick. We picked up Jen at the underpass, and whilst the two of them chatted I started out of the window. I never understood why I have developed travel sickness for just buses...random. When we got to the bus station we would have to grab a cab to moor park because not originating from Preston sadly meant I barely knew my way around. Sure I had seen Penworth a number of times, I had been to the train station countless of times, and in the centre 4 times. But seriously I was no where near finding my way around just yet. But then the number 40 bus went straight along side it moor park! What were the chances! This also meant however, we were far to early. Like how about 2 hours. Lol. The race started at 11am and the warm up’s / when you should be arriving at 10am. We got to the middle of the park around 2 hours early. Great.

Running through the crowd, Hearing people cheer

Taking part in the warm up’s, hearing people’s stories

MAKES YOU FIGHT THE PAIN

There is nothing that takes away that feeling. I complete the race for life feeling estactic. I ran this for my best friend's dad this year. But also for my grandma who survived along time ago and Ray, our friend who is still fighting.

One day there will be a cure. And until then I guess I'll just keep running each year :)

Peace x

Instead of a quote here is something different that I found.

THE CANCER CHANT, I WILL RANT.
A poem contributed by a visitor of Healing Cancer Naturally

Cancer I did not give you the right,
To invade my body and take a bite.
This is my body and with all my might,
I will prevail with one hell of a fight.
To the cancer inside, I will battle and kill.
For that is my body's God given will.
To my cancer, these words I do send.
Your life is short and near the end.
(For Lucy & all those fighting cancer)
J Joens, 10/13/05

Don’t say your world stopped [following a cancer diagnosis], you can make the choice today to turn it around so that your world will only just begin. It is a good experience to learn how to overcome a cancer diagnosis and to be in charge of your body rather than a victim. Laugh often - it is good medicine.
Allan, “terminal” colon cancer victor

Race for Life...

Here goes. I am running the Race for life tomorrow in Preston. Have to be in Lancaster Bus Station for 8am. So getting up at 6.30am but it will be worth it in the end :)

There are several reasons why I am running this event tomorrow and why now.

1) I have done a lot of funderaising in the past with my family, mainly my grandad. We used to organise Charity shows at the caravan. Where in the club there is always an act on each night from 9-11pm, and we thought that at the end of each year we would arrange a charty show instead. We used to have a spot from 7-1pm. My grandad would organise it and each year I would have a spot to fill. Sometimes more than one. My whole family would be involved and the people we were friends with there. I have done several events like this as well as minor running events or the compulsary sports day events at school I would raise money. Also as kids we used to save up our loose change and donate it to charity. However, most of my fund-raising died back in 2001, along with my music and my Grandad. My Grandad was truely an inspiration to me. And since I have accomplished getting into University (which is something he always wanted me to do). I thought it was about time I put the rest of my life back on track. I have started playing the piano again thanks to a flatmate :) just the fund-raising to get back on track now :)

2) Before I was alive my Grandma had cancer, she was a surviour and has ever since donated money to cancer research UK. She went through alot and my family really did believe that we would loose her.

3) One of our friend's who used to be in the Charity show at the caravan is still trying to beat cancer and so far is succeeding.

4) Unfortunately, last year a few days before christmas I recieved a call from my best friend. To say she was sorry, she couldn't go out tonight because her dad had just died. Do you realise how hard it was for her and her lovely family at that time of year. He was literally diagnozed with cancer months before.

5) I have realised that life sucks sometimes, but we just have to step up and fight back. People need to stand up and take a stand for what they believe in. And no matter how many thousands of people will race these next couple of weeks. Every person is making a difference and this makes us one step closer to a cure, so family's like the above do not have to suffer such a loss.

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death"

x

People often let you down, but when it comes to friends it hurts...

How come friends always bail out at the last moment and can't make decisions? I miss out on most of my life's to do before I die list because my friends always bail out on me and leave it too late to tell me so I cannot get anyone else to go.

For this reason, I am blogging again. Because the University Exams have finished now and most people have gone home. So those left promised to take me to this foam party as I have never been to one and there have been plenty of opportunities over the course of the year, but of course as per usual "friends" bale out.

It's annoying as they know how much I have wanted to go all year. This one had free entry before 11am too, but my friend got ready and then I said are you ready to go and she said just gotta do a couple of things. 10 to 11 she told me she wasn't going this sucks. ALOT. L

My aim for first year was to go. And with or without her I will do it.

 

Peace out.

 

P.s. Again I will leave with a quote.

"Live your life without regret"

 

I wish this applied to me right now